More Contests

TWEET WRITING CONTEST

With a nod to spring, Writing.com has partnered with Gotham Writers' Workshop to present a Tweet Writing Contest.

Following the Twitter craze, we challenge you to dazzle us with a piece of writing that is no more than 140 characters (characters = letters, punctuation marks, and spaces). You may write on any topic and use any form—fiction, nonfiction, or poetry. As Strunk and White say, “Vigorous writing is concise.”


Call for Submissions: The L Magazine Wants Your Short Fiction (LMagazine)
The L Magazine has issued a call for entries to the seventh annual Literary Upstart, The Search for Pocket Fiction competition.

Writers are encouraged to submit their previously unpublished short fiction (a maximum of 1,500 words).

More Contests

Here are some more writing contests accepting entries in February and March. Some have entry fees and some don't. Please protect yourself and your writing by reading the fine print and making sure you have a clear understanding of all rules and regulations before entering any contest:

The Suduvu Writing Contest: Here's your chance to win a complete editorial review of your unpublished science fiction, fantasy, horror or paranormal romance novel from Betsey Mitchell, Editor-in-Chief of Del-Ray Publishing. The winning manuscript will also be considered for publication. Entries due March 18.

The Writer 2011 Short Story Contest: Enter your short story in any genre for a chance to win $1,000 and publication in The Writer. Entries must be 2,000 words or less. $10 entry fee per entry (you can enter more than one manuscript) Entries due April 30.

Stella Kupferberg Memorial Short Story Prize: Enter for a chance to win $1,000 and a chance to have your story recorded for a public radio performance. Your story must be 750 words or less and address the theme "Restaurants and Bars". Guest judge is novelist Jennifer Egan. There is a $25 entry fee. Entries due March 1.

When you've got something to lose

This year, my new year's resolution was to enter more contests, and I am happy to say that so far I've followed through with gusto. I have won a DVD of the film "The Town" in a giveaway from an entertainment website. I am in a three-way battle for fitness supremacy in my office weight loss contest. I put a great deal of thought into choosing dates and times in two separate baby pools. Unfortunately, I haven't heard any news on the sweepstakes for the sapphire and diamond earrings or the fabulous Australian getaway I entered, but I knew I wasn't going to win eveything I tried for. The point of the resolution was just to remember that I'd never win anything if I didn't give it a shot.

But it's easy to submit your email address to an online sweepstakes, or speed dial a radio station for concert tickets (as long as you're not driving, of course) or throw a few bucks into a baby pool. It only takes a minute of your time. And if you've been planning on shedding a few pounds anyway, why not engage in some friendly competition with your coworkers and take your chances on earning a little cash incentive for your efforts? I entered all of these contests knowing there was minimal risk involved. But that is not true of all competitions, which is why there is one type of contest I have yet to enter this year- a writing contest.

There are three main incentives for writers to enter contests: 1) for a chance to have some fun practicing their craft 2) for exposure to new audiences and/or potential publishers 3) for money, something that most inspiring writers could always use a little bit more of. At first glance, competing for The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award seems like it would provide all three. It would be fun to polish up a manuscript that's been collecting virtual dust on my hard drive and compete in something that's as close as we're likely ever going to get to having a literary equivalent of American Idol (which you undoubtedly would've seen me audition for had I been born a singer instead of a writer). Making it through to even the second round would be a great source of pride and exposure to the publishing world. And I could think of about thirty ways to spend that $15,000 advance for the winner in less than thirty seconds.

Whenever I enter any type of contest, I have to ask myself one question: what do I have to lose? Unfortunately, there's a long list of potential answers for this contest. Even worse, the answers include "my prospects for a long term career as a novelist" and "possibly lots and lots of money". This is the fourth year Amazon has held this contest, and none of the prior winners have exactly rocketed to the top of the bestseller list, leaving questions of whether Amazon and the publisher (Penguin) are truly committed to promoting the winning novels, and whether or not readers are willing to read a book selected for publishing in such an unusual manner. And in the world of publishing, it's much harder to get published a second time when your first novel flopped than it is to get published the first time as an unknown. Also, there's the matter of that publishing contract the winner has to sign without the guidance of a trusted literary agent or legal representative. A good literary agent is skilled in negotiating the best possible deal for their clients. The winner of the Amazon contest doesn't get to negotiate any terms for their publication contract. So common sense would tell you that this contract may not be the best deal a writer could get for their work. Common sense would tell you that there's too much to lose here.

The carrot of publication is an extremely tempting one for most writers. With this contest, Amazon is dangling that carrot right in front of our faces. But for those of us who have dreamed of publication for many years, I wonder if Amazon is counting on our hunger to cause us to hallucinate that it's a big slab of chocolate cheesecake that they're offering us instead of a plain old raw, unpeeled carrot- maybe even a baby carrot. (Sorry for the food metaphors- remember, I am in a weight loss contest right now!) I'm not the type of dieter who would eat a carrot and try to convince myself it tastes as good as that cheesecake. So I don't want to be the type of writer who accepts a questionable deal and lets myself believe I'm on the path to literary superstardom.

Luckily, there are plenty of other writing contests out there that offer more modest prizes, but also more modest risks. Addison posted a link to one the other day that I am very interested in entering. The prize may not be that decadant slice of cheesecake, but it's better than that trickster carrot, too. Entering that contest would be more akin to treating myself to a fat free vanilla frozen yogurt topped with fresh strawberries- a sweet reward that isn't going to undo all my hard work at the gym.

What are your thoughts on writing contests? Do you think I'm making a mistake not entering the Amazon contest? What have your experiences been with putting your work out there in pursuit of a prize? Feel free to share in the comments section.

The Importance of Environment

The Sun Also Rises

Different authors have always had different preferred writing environments.  J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter in coffee shops.  Stephen King has a room in his house with a writing desk and all his supplies.  Ernest Hemingway was well known for getting high on peyote and writing his stories by dipping his finger in wine and defacing his housekeeper's linens.  (This is a lie.)

The important thing for us budding writers... okay, brief aside.  Budding?  Are we going through literary puberty or something?  Like, halfway through a sentence our narrative voice cracks and we're telling, not showing?  But I digress.

The important thing for us aspiring writers is to find the writing environment that works for us.  Today I begin a series of the things you should keep in mind when choosing your perfect writing environment.

• Do you type or write longhand?
  
  This question sits at the center of most questions of environment, since it points to a natural division in the writing community.  Picture first the longhand writer--we'll call him Carl.  His notebook goes everywhere with him.  Perhaps he stores it in a satchel.  Behind his ear is a pen or pencil, which he wears there as an affectation.  Get Carl started, and he will wax philosophical about the sacred feel of pen on paper, of the way he feels connected to his output.
  
  Now, consider also the typist, which for current purposes we will name Johann.  He also carries a satchel, but a larger one, because there's a computer in it.  Take a look at his glasses--if they are black plastic, then the computer will almost certainly be a Mac, because that's how Johann rolls.  He types 90 wpm, which you know because he tells you.  He will proudly declare that he can't write as fast as he thinks, and typing comes closer to reaching that lofty velocity.
  
  Both Carl and Johann will find a table useful in their environment.  However, Carl will find it easier to do without.  He will also require less electricity, and he will not need to be in a glare-free zone.  However, Carl may find himself tied down by the necessity of finding a pen (if the one behind his ear runs out of ink), and may be further burdened by the weight of his many notebooks.

Next time, we learn about the uses and distractions of the Internet.

Love Should Be Shared... and Contest Prizes, too.

They measure books in miles.  You gotta love that.

Hey, all you NYCers, or those only a train ride away.  Ever been to The Strand?  If not, then why the hell not?  Get your butt to the corner of Broadway and 12th.  If you don't spend thirty minutes browsing the bargains outside the store before setting foot inside, I'll eat my hat.  (Note:  My hat is made of tasty, tasty bacon.)

I bring this up because they're doing a short story contest, and the grand prize is a $250 shopping spree and a tote bag.  Here are the details:

Love in the library, quiet and cool.

Topic:  A short love story, featuring The Strand
Word Count:  2,000 or less
Website:  http://www.strandbooks.com/share-the-love-2011/

Share the love.  And if you win, maybe share the prize with the dude who told you about it?

Hostile Takeover

The enemy is among us.  They are in our stores, in our workplaces, even our very homes.  Their mission is to steal that which is most dear to us.  They want our names.

"They" are women, of course, and I'm speaking of the increasing number of girls given boy's names.  I raise the cry, and I will hear it echoed across this great land.  Women, stop stealing our names.

My name is Addison, and despite what you might think, I am not a twelve-year-old girl.  I do not sign my name "Addison Bieber" in my Mead notebooks, and I almost never use fruit-flavored lip gloss.  Nothing I own contains glitter.  Why do these vile slanders afflict my most noble name?

Addison... it means "son of Adam."  Let me break this down into pieces for you.

son: (n.)  male child
Adam: (n.)  the very first man

My name literally means "son of the very first goddamn man there ever was"!  Okay, I took some liberties with my translation, but the point remains, you can't get more masculine than a name that has "male" in it twice.

Here are a few other names that have been turned by the enemy.

Riley:  A good Irish name.  This name should be sitting in a pub somewhere, drinking whiskey and making bets.
Morgan:  He played God, for God's sake.  That's a He you're supposed to capitalize.
Ashley:  Ever seen Gone With the Wind?  Here's another Irish name that is so far gone, it's irreclaimable.
Alex:  Short for Alexander.  That -ander part?  It means "man."
Chandler:  Ever see Friends?  Okay, not the manliest man, but hey, Courtney Cox.
Logan:  WOLVERINE.  WOLVER-EXPLETIVE-DELETED-INE!

The worst part is, it doesn't go both ways.  We can't steal your names.  Hell, we can't even keep our own, sometimes.  There's only one solution.  It may be drastic, but desperate times and so forth.  Here it is:

We have to name our sons something that no woman would ever want to steal.  And that's why my firstborn male issue will be named...

Velociraptor Hulk Spock-Vader

Your move, ladies.

Our Missin' Statement

Here at For All Tents and Porpoises, we aim to create an informative and entertaining (infotaining?) blog that will provide musings and advice on writing, links to contests and other opportunities for writers, potentially snarky and/or gushing literary reviews, and (as any self-respecting blog should) a hearty helping of silliness and a space in which for us to indulge our collective sense of vanity ...Oh yeah, and a place for us to practice and improve at our craft.